Turning Lemons into Lemonade...?

Probably not. However, I have found a way to make my losing battle against the burgeoning underworld of spam-bots a bit more tolerable.

Presented below is my Profit/Loss statement for a brand new and very fictional stock portfolio I've entitled Canned Meat. The stock selection process for Canned Meat is surprisingly simple: If I am implored to purchase a specific stock via spam email, I buy it. In fact, for each email I receive, I buy 1000 shares. You can read more about Canned Meat, including the sequence of buys and sells, and the exit strategy - on my Canned Meat page at Stockpickr. And of course, I will wax poetically on the virtues of this chopped, pressed, and salt-cured portfolio on my blog, Muse and Speculate.

While Canned Meat was started as a humorous way to get through my daily grind, it does hold some merit. For example - and this is tough to admit - it is somewhat compelling. Anyone who is plagued with pennystock spam and possesses a general market savvy must have wondered if there is any way to win with these stocks. OK, maybe not everyone, but some have. Or maybe you've always wondered just how much money you will lose by investing in these dubious "companies". Regardless, some find this interesting, and I'm proud and, well - surprised, that James Altucher included Canned Meat in his Daily Blog Watch.

The Canned Meat Profit/Loss Chart is updated in real time by yours truly, harnessing the insurmountable power of Google Spreadsheets.